Get Free from Lifelong Trauma

Bad things happened from long time ago may be still haunting you today. Traumatic experience can be really hard to forget and it changed you completely and prevents you from the fulness of life. You need the right help to get out from the traumatic shell and the right therapy can be a good option.

If you have problem with traumatic experience you are recommended to consider getting therapy using the Havening Techniques. It is an alternative and scientific based therapy to help people deal with traumatic past events as well as to help reducing negative emissions. The name “havening” symbolizes a process to put in safe place (haven). The main idea of this technique is to change the way brain stores bad memories. The method is combination of talking, visualizations, eye movements, as well as therapeutic touch. Havening Technique has been widely practiced throughout the world and has been helping a lot of people.

This could be the answer of your long struggle to free from lifelong trauma. But don’t forget that you need to get Havening therapy from a qualified practitioner because not all therapists or life coaches are familiar with this technique. You can start from Havening Technique’s website where there is list of qualified practitioners. It will help you find a practitioner near where you live.

Here in Sheffield greater area, you can come to Mindfulness Mavericks to get the therapy and learn Havening techniques. One of the therapist in this mindfulness therapy center is John Nolan and he is a qualified Havening practitioner. He is very passionate to work with patients to improve their mindfulness and get a better life quality. He will guide you based on Havening Technique to deal with traumatic experience so you can move on. You will also learn to use this method for self-help allowing you to maintain good wellness both body and mind.

Chronic Fatigue Part 2: Suppression and Expression

What is suppression in relation to chronic fatigue?

There is a form of suppression in societal censorship, where groups of people seem to dictate what behavior is appropriate and what behavior isn’t. People don’t hang up banners or erect billboards to spell out what behaviors society is censoring, but each of us knows that the censorship exists and what it means.

On an individual level, censorship and suppression happens all the time as well. How often have you felt an inner conflict arise in you because you did or said something on the outside, while holding back what you really felt or thought about doing on the inside? If you’re nodding your head yes to this experience, you’re not alone because we all go through these moments and the discomfort it brings up from time to time.

The challenging thing about suppression is that what was left unsaid or undone lingers, trying to offer you clues into your real feelings or thoughts on a situation. The longer these clues are ignored in favor of a suppressed response, the more energy gets diverted from health and desired actions.

What is an example? Say a friend doesn’t remember to pay you back money that you loaned them during dinners and other social events. You had initially felt your friend would have fun, and they would also appreciate the fact that you helped them out in a pinch. And just maybe this appreciation would lend itself to them paying you back. But then the situation keeps repeating itself, and you’re forking out money to the friend while getting “thanks” returned and no borrowed money back.

What do you do? In the beginning, you suppress your feelings about getting your money back because you don’t want to lose a friend and you hope maybe they’ll somehow remember to repay you on their own. You also don’t want to seem un-cool and uptight, so you keep your mouth sealed shut and keep hanging out with your friend socially.

After a while, you’re going to these events with your friend and noticing that you’re not having as much fun anymore. Your mind can’t let go of thoughts of wanting your money back, and just seeing your friend’s face brings up anger surrounding this issue. But you feel like a bad person, so you go above and beyond to be nice and give more to your friend so no one suspects what is irking you and judges you for it.

Meanwhile, this suppressed feeling isn’t just visiting you during social times, it’s actually starting to pop up uninvited anytime during the day or night. Sometimes you’ll try and fall asleep and are left awake thinking relentlessly about how your friend won’t pay you back.

What’s happening? Suppressed feelings or expression isn’t just a mild nuisance. It can lead to an irritation of the nervous system and of other physiological processes of the body. What you may think is just a small issue of borrowed money that is lost is now becoming a whole body issue with lack of sleep, fixated thoughts, and general irritation toward not only your friend but perhaps even other people you interact with.

Also, the desire to come off as “cool” and not uptight is a lie, and your mind and body knows it. You are bothered by this train of events and until you do something about it and let that urge flow freely, you are suppressing natural and even healthy feelings.

Whether you are feeling angry, frustrated, irritated, sad, excited, fearful, or exhausted, if you are in the habit of suppressing these emotions so that you don’t get into “trouble” with people around you or fit in better, you are also doing a disservice to your health and giving away energy in the wrong places.

What is expression? There is no one answer, because expression is unique to you and no one else can define what that is. Expression is the natural flow of your feelings, actions, and reactions and while it doesn’t always have to be outward it is something you are innately aware of, even if you try and hide from it. Hiding from it actually drains energy and contributes to chronic fatigue.

So, is the message to go out there and let everyone know who you are? No, quite the opposite. Remember to see yourself for who you are and what you want no matter what anyone else reflects back to you. We are all confined by certain environments “out there” where are have to step in line and do a certain job or play a certain role, even if we don’t particularly like it. But that doesn’t mean that you have to become the role and mold all your expression to it. Celebrate the fact that these roles aren’t all that you are. There is something much richer than that, which you can unabashedly own for yourself, adding to both your health and your energy.

And to the person who isn’t getting borrowed money returned from a friend? Say something. That money was and is yours. Good for you for spotting a friend in a moment of need, but if you keep doing it and depleting your own bank account for someone else’s good time, you’re in danger of becoming a sucker and your friend knows it.

The next energy diversion is made up of a large category involving stuck patterns. Read the next article to find out more about how being stuck in a rut or an unhealthy pattern can suck energy away from you and contribute to chronic fatigue.

Raise Your Consciousness to Impact Health

Raising your consciousness can have a profound impact on the level of one’s health. Understanding the different levels and aligning with them can have significant effects on the long term prosperity of your health and wellbeing. You become awake, aware and conscious of your life choices.

Each level of consciousness coincides with certain human behaviours and perceptions about life. Each level represents a field of varying strength that exists beyond our three-dimensional reality. The numbers on the scale represent logarithmic calibrations of the levels of human consciousness and its corresponding level of reality.

The numbers are subjective; the significance lies in the relationship of one number (or level) to another. People in levels of Power (love, empathy and understanding) vibrate at a level of love-based emotions. They are increasingly aligned with the present moment and the universal forces.People in levels of Force vibrate at a level of fear-based emotions. They are more inclined to exert control.

It is generally more effective when you are around people at higher consciousness levels which are closer to your level (vs. a huge distance ahead), since it is easier for your energy levels to reach resonance with theirs.

There are two particular levels where one experiences a marked leap vs. the other levels. The first is Courage, which separates the levels of force (200). This is the first waking point from the sleepwalker status.

The second is Acceptance, where one recognises it is he himself who is the conscious creator of everything in his life. This is the point where one completely awakes from sleepwalking.

Subsequently when you begin to raise your consciousness, your ability to impact your health greatly increases. Due to the power of our energy fields, healing arises as a result of our attitude and belief system that we hold in our mind. Thus health becomes an expression of the levels of consciousness we are vibrating at.

Health means a sense of aliveness which is determined by the higher energy field. The body will express whatever is held at the level of the mind. If you’re consciousness is low and you continually entertain limiting and toxic thoughts of ill health, your body will mirror this belief. You become that which you think about and hold in your mind. Achieving health is the result of transcending any limitations and feelings of separation. We become at one with our mind and body.

Many people choose to program their minds to think limiting and negative thoughts continually. They believe this is their default state. This could be further from the truth. One merely needs to look at a young child to see their thoughts are filled with love, openness and receptivity. Therefore, if we’re able to entertain negative thought states, we can alternatively change these thoughts to attract higher thoughts which are in alignment with our desire to be healthy.

As long as you think negative, limiting and self defeating thoughts your body will not know a higher state of health. The highest state of health cannot reside in a body whose mind is toxic and self defeating. One must continually improve their mental attitude in order to seek a higher expression of consciousness. If we agree with a thought about our body, the effect is that we bring it into our consciousness, which begins expressing itself in our body. The body follows what the mind instructs it to do so. Therefore healing and health arise as a result of addressing both the physical state of the body and also the mental state.

The important aspect worth noting here is that we are not always conscious of our thoughts – we talk about being unconscious in such a case. When you consciously look back at the thought that may have created the physical symptom within the body, you may have no recollection of ever entertaining such thoughts. Yet the body is expressing that these thoughts exist. The thought may have been held at the unconscious level and so it is important that one traces the origin of the thought and heal it.

When you regularly entertain positive, self empowering thoughts the power of the thought have the potential to flow through the meridian points otherwise known as acupuncture points located within the body. The energy flowing through the meridians is known as Qi (pronounced chi) energy. The meridians are like gates which govern the flow of energy or qi to the organs and other body’s systems. Disease may affect the organ within the channel of the qi pathway, located where there is a blockage at the gate. So, an unconscious belief gives energy to the illness, manifesting as a mental construct, which leads the body to express the thought on a physical realm.

Therefore, become aware of your thoughts more often. This may not necessarily mean observing every thought – rather note the theme of your thoughts. Becoming conscious means being aware and awake. You see the world in a new way through the eyes of a child witnessing their surroundings for the first time. Life takes on new meaning and is imbued with substance and purpose as your consciousness expands.

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Expressing Thoughts and Emotions is Good For Your Health

All too often, people (especially children) are not taught to properly express their thoughts and emotions. “Children should be seen and not heard” is an all too famous (infamous) motto that has been used for a long time. However, if humans are not supposed to express their thoughts, what happens? We learn to stuff our emotions down and repression becomes second nature after a while. The problem is that thoughts and emotions are meant to be expressed, not repressed. A baby cries, and it does not judge why it is crying or does not think that it should not be crying, it just lets it all out and a moment later, it is happy again. If we could just learn at a young age that every emotion is worthy of being properly expressed, (after all, they are emotions within us that we naturally have) then we would all much more likely grow up to be well adjusted adults even in the face of highly stressful events and situations.

Take this into consideration, many health practitioners are starting to realize that at least 80% of health issues are highly related to stress and other emotional baggage. It is not only unnatural to repress our feelings, but it is also a risk to our health! Obviously, one does not want to go around and rant like a raving lunatic over every thought or feeling which he/she haves, but things must be put into balance in order to live as a well adjusted adult. Instead of bursting with anger over something someone else did or said in which you felt angry about, it is better to have a strong sense of communication about these feelings and assertively tell the other person how you feel instead of bursting out at this person.

It may not seem easy at first, but with practice it will become a more natural response. No matter how bad one is with dealing with emotions, he/she can learn how to deal with emotions in a much healthier manner. Sometimes, just allowing yourself to fully feel an emotion can be enough to take the weight of it off you. The only reason why emotions become a problem and cause erratic behavior and health issues is because they are not properly dealt with. They become repressed and can turn into guilt, sadness, even rage. There is nothing shameful about any emotion anyone has. I will say that again…THERE IS NOTHING SHAMEFUL ABOUT ANY EMOTION THAT ANYONE HAS! The only “shameful” part of it is that we may have been programmed to think that we should not even have certain emotions, so they become repressed and turn into problems for mental stability and/or physical health.

There are a number of ways to deal with thoughts and feelings in a healthy way. First of all, feelings are a result of the thoughts we have. If we think that we should not have certain feelings, that causes us to repress them and feel guilty over them. Like I stated earlier, really allow yourself to feel whatever feeling you are having. If you are feeling sadness, really allow yourself to feel this sadness. If you are feeling angry, really allow yourself to feel angry. It can cause us to feel overwhelmed at first until we really get used to this new way of dealing with our emotions, especially if they have been repressed for so long. So it may appear we are getting even more neurotic, but no worries, this is a natural part of the process that will fade as time goes on. It is by repressing our feelings that sadness can turn into depression, and anger can turn into rage. Allowing yourself to really feel these feelings can allow them to dissipate and release once we get a handle on it. Also, even allow yourself to feel insecure if that feeling arises.

It is due to many of our insecurities that make us feel weak for having certain emotions in the first place, which can cause us to “explode” from holding them in for so long. There is nothing “weak” about any emotion. The only “weakness” is from not allowing yourself to have these emotions and trying to stuff them down due to how you were raised, how you perceive others might think if they knew about these thoughts and feelings, etc. One other method you may wish to try is to keep a journal of your feelings. This may sound silly, but it can be a highly effective way in getting more in touch with yourself and why these emotions are coming out. Since no one else has to know about this, it can be your safe haven for expressing yourself. Sometimes seeing it come out on paper can be very therapeutic. It can lead you to see why you were having these emotions in the first place and let go of them. You can also write angry letters or any other type of letter to someone describing exactly how you feel about something in particular, then just shred it up and never mail it. It can be a form of release to get out this tension, and the other person does not have to know about it if you so desire. Meditation can be highly beneficial into getting us more in touch with ourselves and our feelings as well.

Another thing I would like to discuss is sex. For too many of us, sex is an unnecessary stigma that is considered “bad”. Sexual feelings are just as natural and normal as any other feeling human beings experience. There is nothing shameful or repulsive about it at all. Thinking that it is shameful is what causes mental distress. How can something so natural and beautiful be so shameful? This topic may make some people feel uncomfortable, but it is time we really delved into this subject. The only “problem” with sex is when it is done as a compulsion or done against someone else’s will. But think about this, if one views sex in a healthy perspective and not feel any shame attached to it, then less sexual addictions would result, less rape would happen, etc. This is not about trying to have sex with anyone you feel attracted to, because that would be a compulsion. Rather, it is about fully allowing yourself to be free of any guilt attached to the subject and allowing it to freely flow through you. Addictions are usually the result of feeling shameful about it, then feeling mad for feeling shameful about it, and before you know it, it becomes an addictive behavior. It can also be used as an addiction to escape from other repressed emotions.

This is why it is so important to allow yourself to experience any emotions that arise, for this will seriously knock out the need for any addictive behaviors, including sex. When sex is viewed in a healthier manner, as well as any other emotion, you may not even wish to seek it out as much as you once did, but you would enjoy it 10 times more than you ever did. And you will have more respect for it as the beautiful expression that it really is. Even loveless sex is OK as long as it is done with 2 consenting partners. But once sex is put into better balance, you will naturally gravitate to experiencing it fully and with someone you really care about. I know that sounds ironic and doubtful, it appears that if you allow yourself to fully experience sexual feelings then you may become a raving sex maniac. However, that comes from false preconceptions and beliefs. It is the other way around meaning that compulsive sexual behavior is the direct result from either sexual feelings being repressed until they can no longer be repressed, and/or from other repressed emotions in which sex becomes an addiction to escape from other distresses.

Once everything is put in balance, even sex, then your true loving nature starts to emerge more and more. For that is our most true nature, that of love. Once we clear out our emotional baggage, we naturally gravitate towards more love for ourselves and others. Take it from me, someone who used to have severe problems with anxiety and depression, and now I am much more at peace with myself and others. I would like to end with this thought….we are not our thoughts and emotions, they simply pass through us. By allowing them to really pass through us instead of repressing them or holding onto them is when we get more in touch with the deeper aspects of ourselves such as true love. Many blessings to all of you!

The author of this article has been becoming more self aware and wishes to share his knowledge and insights with others. Be sure to check out his profile for more information about him and his products.

There is Actually Only One Way to Express True Love – Mental Health Research

What is the purpose of life? The only purpose that makes rational sense is to express love to all living entities. All other purposes are bound to be selfish, with a “getting” motive attached. The experience of true love seems to happen rarely on our planet, as indicated by the negative conditions of people and situations worldwide. The quality of our well-being and mental health depends on our willingness to express love to the life around us.

Many may be shocked to discover that true love is not a personal resource. I have no love of my own, nor do you, or anyone else. There is only one way we can express true love to the life around us, that is by consistently acting on what is truly right.

Here is another shocker; to act rightly a person cannot be acting selfishly. That means that he or she cannot be acting from a selfish or self-seeking intention. It means that a person cannot be in a selfish controlling or manipulative mode, and cannot be acting to get something for self.

The expression of true love requires that our intentions be pure; that we be sincerely will to give with no strings attached. We must also be willing to act in lovingly responsible ways, which includes being willing to express truth as we know it in appropriate ways. In a selfish environment, the expression of truth can sometimes be dangerous so discretion is in order.

At the heart of the process of expressing true love is a sincere willingness to express love. Without that willingness, whatever comes forth shall be some form of selfish action.

Here is an analogy:

Think of a human being as a “garden hose,” and his or her will as the “faucet” attached to the side of a house. The “water” is love.

In order for us to experience or express love, we must open our personal “faucet” (will) and be willing to allow water to flow (express love). When we are willing to express love, “water” flows through us and we feel good (we experience love). In addition, those around us get “wet” (are loved).

On the other hand, when we selfishly and defiantly refuse to express love, we keep our personal “faucet” shut so that no “water” can flow through us. Like an unused garden hose left out in the sun, it soon dries out and begins to decay.

The expression of love is vital to every person’s well-being. []

Neil Mastellone, working with his co-researcher Jean Mastellone, has been actively investigating the causes of negative human behavior.

Love Improves Health and Longevity

Research on Love and Health

Research on love and relationships show that engaging in deep and calming love in marriage helps us to:

Have a higher immunity system.
Lower rates of heart disease and other chronic illness.
Reduces anxiety.
Helps us live longer.
Allows us to manage stress longer.

The key aspects of health benefits occur when we are:

Fully open to receiving and giving love.
Giving and feeling supported by engaging in emotional intimacy and deep connectivity.
Soothed and inspired by interactions that facilitate growth and expand the heart.

Thus, platonic and altruistic love might also help benefit health just as romantic love does.

Yet, how many times have you found yourself hesitant to invest fully in expressing or receiving love? Often times we hold back because of:

Fears that we will be rejected.
Fears about being criticized.
Concerns that we somehow do not measure up to others’ expectations.
Insecurities that make us feel that others will not value us and reciprocate feelings.
Lack of energy to invest fully in giving to others or to receive fully.
Fears of losing love once we allow ourselves to feel it.

An expansive heart gives to others even in moments when it is not necessarily convenient to give or when one is not guaranteed that love will be returned. An expansive heart is one that is self aware and aligned with truths.

It is the act of openness and thoughtfulness that nourishes the heart in a selfless way, for when we take ego and fear out of the mix and express love from a space without agendas, our hearts and spirits stretch and grow in new ways.

While some researchers find a correlation between calm, loving marital relationships and higher levels of health, other researchers are considering the health benefits gained by individuals who are single, such as the Dalai Lama, who are engaging in deep altruistic love and connecting profoundly by giving selflessly to people.

Certainly, this kind of selfless love is also valuable in benefiting health-the act of creating spiritual communities and connecting intimately with others through altruistic acts creates significant physical and mental benefits.

Ester M. Sternberg, a researcher a research professor who authored The Balance Within: The Science Connecting Health and Emotions (Freeman, 2001), concluded that altruistic expressions of love may:

Suppress disease activity.
Activate an immune response that is healthful.
Reduce stress and anxiety.
Reduce chronic pain (the sense of giving releases endorphins, chemicals in the body that block pain).
Improves mental outlook and energy levels.

The effects of altruism on a happy mood are well documented medically. Dr. Kathleen Hall, a world renowned expert in stress and founder of The Stress Institute, says that “Altruism creates a physiological responses or ‘helpers high’ that makes people feel stronger and more energetic and counters harmful effects of stress.”

Thus, expressing love altruistically may have as much of a health benefit as experiencing love in the context of longer term, married, romantic relationships.

How can we expand our heart energies and capacities to share love in ways that increase our health benefits?

(1) Engage in qi gong that is focused on energetically and spiritually opening the heart

The National Qi Gong Association’s free “Healing Wave” video online has a segment called “Open Heart Qi” that is very useful with movements that emphasize opening the heart center.

(2) Practice going out of your way to engage kind or loving behaviors. Any of us can say we are loving people, but do our actions truly reflect that? Are we willing to give love even when it is inconvenient or requires personal sacrifice?

Assess your behaviors of terms of how willing you are to invest in building loving relationships. Ask yourself:

When was the last time, I went out of my way to give special flowers for someone to simply bring joy?
When have I last taken time to prepare a special nourishing meal for someone?
When did I last plan an excursion to uplift someone’s spirit?
When did I actively seek to build new loving relationships?

Often times we are willing to do what is convenient and comfortable for us to express love, but the deeper benefits of stretching the heart come from those moments that are willing to go that extra mile to extend ourselves.

(3) Actively surround yourself with other loving people who are natural givers, and who enjoy investing love into other people.

When we surround ourselves with such people, there is a synergy that occurs from the dynamic of love going back and forth-it is this synergy that researchers are studying in married couples and concluding that such interactions are beneficial to health-but remember, that synergy can also occur among people who are single and expressing love.